Saturday, 24 March 2012

Grape Expectations & 100 Things that ANNOY bus drivers!

"Grape" Expectations + 100 things that ANNOY Bus Drivers!!

A bus driver was sacked for eating a grape, whilst at the wheel of his bus!

Michael Shephard admitted that he was in his cab at the time of the "petty" offence, but insists he was stationary, and sitting in a bus terminus.
The 66 year old who had been working for National Express for 5 years, was initially suspended from his job, 2 weeks ago, then dismissed on Wednesday!
Michael was hauled in by his bosses after footage from CCTV, captured the driver eating the fruit.  At first Mr Shephard thought he was being given a disciplinary, over the "grape eating incident" but instead of getting a telling off, he was promptly suspended by bosses!
The aggrieved bus driver has lodged an appeal over the sacking and says: "I am so angry, I thought I would be given a disciplinary for eating the grape, but not sacked.  I don't eat or drink while I am driving but I was just sat at the bus terminus for a few minutes."

Mr Shephard explains that he had a heart bypass some 12 months ago, and the medication he takes, drys his mouth out and that he needs to sip water or a grape every hour or so, he goes on to say: "There were no passengers on my bus and nobody saw me, so I don't understand the problem."
Mr Shephard isn't very "grape"ful to National Express
A spokes person for National Express said: "The driver in question hasn't exhausted the disciplinary process that we have as a company, and as a result, we cannot comment any further on this matter."  They went on the record to say: "We do hold ourselves to high levels of safety and customer care standards."
Pity they don't have the same respect and high standards for their workforce!  The sooner Mr Shephard gets his job back the better.  This is absolutely ridiculous to sack someone over eating a grape!  The amount of hours and unsociable shifts that bus drivers work, they deserve more respect and dignity from their employers.  Many of these operators certainly don't want to win an "Investor in People" award!
Good luck to Mr Shephard and his appeal.

For all of you that drive buses or coaches for a living you can probably associate with this article "100 things that ANNOY bus drivers"

100 things that ANNOY bus drivers

This is a list of things that annoy bus drivers, in no specific order and is not an exhaustive compilation.

London bus driving comes with many pitfalls, can be quite stressful and from experience has led to many problems with driver’s health and home life.

It has many dis-advantages as opposed to advantages, although earning a good wage should be high on anyone's agenda, enjoying the work you do should play an important role in your well-being.

Also the feeling of "being valued" as an employee should be part of everyday employment

Jedi bus driver uses the force on a cyclist!!
Therefore I have compiled a non-exhaustive list of 100 things that can add stress or annoys a bus driver during a typical working day.

The next time you get on a bus and the driver isn't smiling or looking at you, bear in mind that he or she might be having a bad day for whatever reason.

100 Things that ANNOY bus drivers

1.      Cyclists (notice I've put this in the number 1 slot) I could write an entire article on these.

2.      Inconsiderate motorists, again I could write an entire chapter on the way other motorists treat bus drivers!

3.      Traffic and congestion, also annoys non bus drivers!

Don't you understand the red & green man?
4.      Pedestrians, one major gripe is when they cross a road when the traffic lights turn green, they stand there waiting on a green man, and when the red man appears they cross!

5.      School Children! Relatively quiet in the morning, but in the afternoon, once they have eaten all the additives and E numbers from their lunch, complete change of attitude!

6.      Kids acting like gangsters! Come on you are 12 years old and act like you the bad man!

7.      Kids playing chicken in the road, just as you approach, mmmm I wouldn't want to go underneath a bus!

8.      People stepping out into the road at a stop, trying to wave you down, when you are "out of service" despite showing "OUT OF SERVICE" This can normally be followed up with a nice hand gesture as you pass!

9.      People who flag you down at a bus stop with the "chicken flapping" signal or pointing repeatedly at the floor!

10.  Being on the "spare list" and getting most of the long jobs, having jobs changed without notice or being on standby (yawn).

Pre-historic bus from the Ice-Age!
11.  The bus itself, it’s too slow, brakes are juddery or sharp, power steering too heavy etc etc etc!!!

12.  People who don't say thank you, what does it take to say thanks driver?!

13.  Passengers, people, tourists etc.....I do not have A to Z or Tourist Information tattooed on my head, I don't know where everything is in every single place in every single town, so don't tut at me when I say "sorry I don't know".

14.  Bell ringers, which can be.... kids constantly ringing the bell (they do say little things please little minds) or even adults! Or ringing the bell and not getting off etc.

15.  Slow elderly people getting on, when you are running late! Bless em!

16.  P*** heads or drunken people, they are OK if they are giddy and having a laugh, but the ones that fall asleep or crap themselves on your bus is annoying! etc etc

17.  Other Bus Drivers! Yes some of us can annoy fellow drivers, especially when we indicate to pull out from a stop and sit there still taking passengers on board, when the bus is flashing us giving us priority! Put your indicator on when you are good and ready!

Any room upstairs driver? NO, OK can I sit on your lap!!
18.  Being full up to the brim with passengers, yet people still want to squeeze on like sardines, even when pulling in to a stop, bus full, people see faces squashed against window, doors not opening, people start gesturing lovely hand signals and weird names!!

19.  Being told by controllers to "carry on driver" when you are running 2 days late!!! any chance of a turn?!

20.  Early starts, Yawnnnnnnnnnn.......not bad finishing in the early afternoon though!

21.  Spread-overs, a driver really only needs an hours break, 2 hours ain't so bad, but 3, 4 or 5 hours between driving is tiring!

22.  Headphone wearers, "This Bus Terminates Here"......"LAST STOP" reaction what so ever, I'm in my own little world.

23.  People who have poor english, "do you go to splusgthrsiijkbwj street?" Huh!!!!

OK, not a ticket inspector, but Blakey should have been!
24.  TFL Revenue Inspectors with bad attitudes, or they get on 1 stop before you terminate, or get on the really quiet routes etc.

25.  People who stare at you constantly, this freaks me out a little, just as you pull into the stop, someone just stares at you, no facial expression etc, this can happen whilst you’re driving as well! Ooooooo Freaky!

26.  Unreliable Unions! Least said the better.

27.  Subsidised Canteen, I can get chicken and chips for a £1 from HFC, the prices do not reflect the word "subsidised" I'm afraid!

28.  Pigeons, now I don't like animal cruelty in any shape or form, and certainly don't want to run an animal over, but pigeons are bloody annoying, like they are suicidal!

29.  People who ring the bell just after you pass their stop, "DRIVERRRRRR"!

30.  Short lunch breaks, 40 minutes is NOT enough for a driver, once you've managed to get service in the "subsidised" canteen you have 20 minutes to wolf down your food, shortcut to indigestion!

31.  Wheelchair users with extremely bad attitudes, in fact everyone with bad attitudes!

32.  Motorists not allowing you to pull out of a bus stop or onto a main road from a junction etc. Some actually speed up and try to squeeze past you as you attempt to pull out, goodbye mirror!!!

33.  GDE or disciplinary's for minor stuff!

I doubt this driver kept his job!
34.  Low Bridges, oops!

35.  Accidents, oops!

36.  Taxi drivers (now why didn't I put this higher up) cabs and those "unlicensed" type......where did any of them pass their tests!!!

37.  Traffic lights that phase to quickly, letting out like 2 cars then changing!!!!Who programs these things.  In my opinion get rid of all traffic lights and replace with round-about's!

38.  London Underground, they can never seem to get their train set to work properly, are always threatening to go on strike and we are left to pick up the piece's.

39.  Bus spotters or enthusiasts, I have never understood the "hobby" of collecting fleet numbers etc, but the ones that take photos of me is annoying.  I don't want to be photographed thank you very much!

40.  People who try to talk to you or ask you questions when you are driving, just as you are negotiating a cyclist coming up the inside as a car cuts you up and pedestrian attempting to get killed by walking out in front of you, ermmmm brain freeze!

London is shut, due to road works!
41.  Roadworks, London is being excavated virtually everywhere!!!

42.  Diversions, especially when Centre Comm broadcasts one with about 10 bloody different directions! Tip for centre comm, repeat the message, say it slowly and clearly, don't assume we have all done the Knowledge!

43.  Steering column problems, changing over drivers etc and steering won't move, then being asked by controllers to pump the air out etc.  If I wanted to do this kind of exercise I would have joined a gym!

44.  Passengers expecting you to change a £10 or £20 note! Have you heard of the Oyster Card?!

45.  Being asked what bus number you are, and where you go!

46.  Air conditioning, either non- existent or not powerful enough in the middle of a heat wave!

47.  Following on from 46, Heating.........on a cold night not having any or weak output of heat or in the middle of winter and having no heating.  I was told that TFL ask bus companies to turn heating off in summer, but surely a drivers cab still needs heating especially on a cold night!

48.  Peak times, traffic, kids coming out of school etc.

49.  Late shifts........doing 7 days of them especially, feeling like a vampire when you see the daylight! And realising you have a family!

50.  People wanting to board your bus when you are on "stand time"

Mmmmm I'm starvin marvin!

51.  People getting on with chicken and chips, when you are starving hungry and been driving 5 hours solid!

52.  Being asked the same question over and over again. Passenger 1 "do you go to East Ham" Driver "yes I do" Passenger 2 "do you go to East Ham" Driver "yes I do" Passenger 3 "do you go to East Ham" Driver "YESSSSSSSSSS."

53.  People who look at you like crap!

54.  Passengers who talk to loudly, virtually always on their mobile phones!

55.  People who knock your nearside mirror out of place when they get on or off the bus at the front.

56.  Having to open an E-Pack.

57.  Occurence Reports.

58.  Smelly passengers, I know 1 driver who carry's his own can of air freshener!

59.  Disgusting toilets or having no toilets what so ever, urinating inside an empty bottle isn't my idea of convenient! and ladies have it worse! Come on TFL, drivers need better facilities!

60.  Supervisory or management colleagues who treat their workers with a lack of respect.

61.  Staff car parking facilities and constantly being messed about with them! You can strike this off if your garage provides you with consistency!

62.  Driving through horrible estates, where having your window smashed or vandalism by the "lovely" people of said estates on a frequent basis!

63.  Drivers parking their car inside a bus stop.

64.  Bus there really any need to have 2 types of stop (compulsory and request). Is it that hard to put your hand up or ring a bell (70 times) to get on or off?!

65.  Insufficient stand time.

66.  Insufficient running time, who created these trips? Jenson Button?!

67.  Too many "rounders"

68.  1 round first half, 22 rounds second half, Niceeeeee!

Getting punched up isn't nice!
69.  Being "punched up"

70.  People who stand too close to the kerb edge, just as you pull in at a stop.  We must narrowly miss giving people a head ache at least 10 times a day!

71.  Speed humps!

72.  Doing the same route, day in and day out, almost becoming robot like!

73.  Fare evaders, especially the ones that jump on the back door and this could include driver assessors!!! I didn't see you get on oops!!!

74.  People who "tut" at you or kiss their teeth, when the oyster reader fails to work.  Huh I'm doing you a favour, you're getting a free ride!

75.  Going to work and finding out your rest pattern has been changed or you are on holiday and wasn't told.  You could still be in bed :(

76.  Working with racist, sexist and homophobic colleagues.

77.  Working 7 days in a row at 10 hours a day sometimes more, this equals 70 hours dude!!

Take that you dirty little f*&@+r!!!

78.  Not being allowed to punch the living daylights out of someone that threatens, spits or verbally abuses you.

79.  Station supervisors that look for reasons to book you.  "I'm booking you for leaving your engine running" "But sir, its minus 5 degrees today!"

80.  Curtailments we don't know or have never done before.

81.  Having your annual leave decided for you.  And would you also like to tell me where to go on my hols?

82.  Being paid less when you are off sick, due to a work related accident!

83.  Kids smoking weed on the bus, it stinks, its illegal and its getting me stoned, oh happy days, oh happy dayyyyyyssssssss! We're jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming!!

84.  Having to stay with a broken down bus, when you should have finished over a hour ago.

Not to bad if your passengers give you a hand though!
85.  Dirty, dusty and littered cab driving area.  Oops just sat on the last drivers banana skin!

86.  Having your driving ability assessed sometimes 3 times on the trot!!!

87.  Working late shifts til 2 in the morning, having 2 days off then going back to work on extreme early shifts starting at 4 in the morning, surely this can't be good for our body clocks! Give us at least 4 days off between these rota variations!

88.  Passengers coming down stairs, when you are braking.

89.  People who can't decide if they want to get on or off.

90.  Colleagues who don't wave at you when you wave at them :(

OMG...I only wanna pay in £2.30!

91.  Waiting for 10 drivers to all pay their takings in on 1 machine, I wanna go home pleaseeeeee!

92.  Waiting to pay in, when the "subsidised" canteen are paying in.

93.  Being ignored by colleagues behind the output area, HELLO I EXIST, I'M REAL!

94.  Crying baby's or screaming kids!

95.  Slow leader.

96.  Text message saying "Wait at next stop for x amount of minutes"

97.  Passengers in cars, who snigger or laugh at you, when the driver deliberately won't let you out, some even flash their lights at you to let you out, but then speed up!!! So So Funny hee hee hee ha ha ha. You see me laughing *@&}head!

98.  Colleagues who front you out, have bad attitudes and hate everyone, including themselves!

99.  Kids who think they are all that! You travel on a bus mate, you are nobody!

This is the sub bus waiting for you!!
100.              Arrogant irresponsible controllers.  Driver "My brakes have failed" Controller "Do 1 more round and then run it in please, we have a sub waiting for you with a faulty oyster machine and knackered ramp, but it's all good" LOL
On a better note, most controllers are pretty decent, and help us out when we need it.
There's the odd one, that spoils it!

Well thanks for taking the time to read this, I'm sure a lot of you will be able to associate with all these issues we encounter and I'm sure there are many more I haven't included.

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Friday, 23 March 2012

The Lizard Comes First!

The Lizard Comes First!

Pets are as much as family, as children are!  When our pet dog or cat is ill or injured, we worry and take them straight down to the vets, cost becomes secondary to the health and welfare of our beloved pets.

Animals can't tell us what is wrong with them, so we rely on the judgment and expertise of our vets to make sure our best friend, or furry feline or even a scaly lizard have the best possible treatment to make sure they get better quickly.

Lizzie Griffiths from Purley, South London is one of those pet owners, who would simply do what ever it takes to make certain her pet lizard "George" gets better, after vets discovered a tumour on the Australian Lizard's face.

So much so, that her wedding to her "intended" had to be cancelled!

Lizzie has spent so much money on George, through treatment involving chemotherapy, that they can no longer afford to get "hitched".

The dedicated "Pogona" owner (that's the technical name for these pre-historic looking creatures) has spent over £3,000 so far, on vets bills.  The chemotherapy sessions, which have proved to be successful , are also the first to be carried out on a bearded lady, sorry I mean dragon, bearded dragon..... in Britain!

The primary school teacher adopted George from a rescue centre last year, but soon realised that the reptile was "very poorly" and rather than have the little omnivore (that's something that eats plants and animal "material") put to sleep, she opted to spend all of her savings on getting George the Dragon better!  Lizzie says "If you love someone enough, you support them through whatever they need, and (her intended hubbie) Chris, knows how much I love George.  The wedding is the last of our thoughts at the moment, we can't possibly afford it."

Lizzie's fiance, Chris Fisher said "It's me or the lizard".....only joking!!!!  Mr Fisher says that Lizzie and George have a special bond, and that whenever George sits on him, he just wriggles about, but when Lizzie is holding him, he sits still and remains quite calm, almost like he knows she saved him!

Miss Griffiths goes on to say "Chris and I, share a passion for dinosaurs, we're both obsessed and it's like having one in your front room.  When I first saw George at the rescue centre I just fell in love with him.  I knew I would give him everything I could, I would spend every amount of money I could, on him." 

Now that is real dedication and love, but didn't they ever consider pet insurance??!!

Oh well........just a thought!

Out of curiosity, because that's what we're like here at WWWN, we got a quote from ExoticDirect (an exotic pet insurer) and they quoted us just over £106 for insurance on a pet lizard per year.

You could have saved yourself over £2900........and then the wedding could have gone ahead!!!

Never mind!

What do you call a blind dinosaur?.................. Do U Think He Saw Us!!! Latin name = Doyafinkhesaurus OMG!
How do frogs die?.............................................They Kermit suicide!!!!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?...............LickalottaPuss!!! It gets worse!!!

Send us your reptilian, lizard or dinosaur jokes by clicking here at our contact page!

Lizard Vids!

Credits and thanks to YouTube users "ThatSpecialGuy" and "DesignerDragons" for each of their uploads.  The Feeding Bearded Dragon Hatchlings video might make you itchy!!! ENJOY!!!

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Thursday, 22 March 2012

Its a Game of Cat & Mouse!

Its a Game of Cat & Mouse!

I used to love all the cartoons when I was a little lad! I still do :)

Tom and Jerry, where by far, one of the most recognised of cartoons.

Seems that most cartoons have revolved around a mouse in some way or other, and has probably led most of us to ask our parents, if we could have one of the little cute rodent pets!

The likes of Mickey & Minnie MouseDanger MouseStewart Little (ok not a cartoon!) Mighty MouseSpeedy Gonzales (andale, andale, arriba, arriba!) and of course Jerry, created by the famous duo Hanna & Barbera, are all famous little mice!

This story about a wood mouse, taking on the might of his nemesis "The Cat" who incidentally is called Tom, is a real-life echo of the cartoons.

Stephanie Evans from Reigate, Surrey found her cat "Tom" with a mouse inside its mouth.  A normal pastime for any feline, who would normally play around with their prey, until scoffing it down and enjoying a tasty little snack!

However, Tom, let the little brave mouse out of his jaws of death, and the Mighty Mouse refused to play ball! During a ten minute stand off between the pair, the mouse eventually scuttled off under a fence, but not before giving his "tom"entor a little smack across the pussy cat's nose!

Stephanie says "he put the mouse down and instead of running away, the mouse just confronted him.  Tom was so shocked he just stood there.  They ended up playing in the garden together for ages."

Stephanie managed to get a great photo of the pair and said "I have honestly never seen anything like it.  It was very comical but definitely not normal".  She went on to describe her cat, as "incredibly submissive and gentle" and saying that the gutsy mouse eventually left, scurrying underneath a shed, before scooting off under a fence and hiding in a neighbours greenhouse!

And in a scene that probably mirrors that of a cartoon, the mouse was more than likely waiting for Tom, so he could smack a flower pot round his head!

Cat & Mouse Vids!

Thanks and credits to the following YouTube users for these superb uploads:
Tom n Jerry Cartoon by "Mr Takuyamiyata".  Simon's Cat in "Cat & Mouse" by "simonscat".  Real Fire (cat mouse dog) advert 1980s by "atariman1988" and Funny Mouse Nolan Cheese Commercial by "JamesThyCool" (We think the cheese commercial is the best :)

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

New website now available! Weird, Wacky & Worldwide News Dot Cotton!!!

Weird, Wacky & Worldwide News is now available through it's website located at

The website will feature weird, wacky, interesting and funny news stories from around the world and will have new features added over the coming months.
A new feature inside the website is "Jelly Belly's" Funny Pictures and Video Section, which will house some of the web's funny pics and vids from YouTube.  Check it out here (Click to go straight to "Jelly Belly's" Funny Pics and Vids)
This weeks theme is "Animals"

The website' homepage will be updated daily with new news stories, and all news items will still be available on Weird, Wacky & Worldwide's blog site here.
The website will enable us to offer you more from your browsing, features that will not be available on the blog site.
You can still subscribe to Weird, Wacky & Worldwide News from the blog site, and links to our website will be made available to and from our website and blog site.

Please remember, subscribing to us, is FREE and you may unsubscribe any time you wish by clicking the "unsubscribe now" button sent with every email you receive.
We never give your email address to anyone else, and we certainly don't send you junk or spam mail.

If you wish to submit a comment, feedback, ideas for content, news stories or issues with any part of the website then please contact us through the website' "contact page" or though our blog site.

Weird, Wacky & Worldwide News would like to thank everyone who has so far subscribed.

Keep posted with WWWN.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

"Last Stop" FOREVER!

"Last Stop" FOREVER!

We all dream of winning the lottery.

I've had many conversations with people, about what I would do if I won a huge amount of money on say.....the EuroMillions.  Like, buy the company I work for and sort out everyone I don't like!

Lady Luck, looked down on 12 bus drivers and decided to make them all triple millionaires!
Each driver winning a share of Fridays (16th March 2012) triple rollover, £38 million pound  jackpot, organised by a syndicate at their workplace of Stagecoach Buses in Northamptonshire.

The winners from Corby, Northamptonshire, have not yet been confirmed by the lottery organiser Camelot, however some of the drivers were named locally as Stephen Derrick, Charlie Gillion, Ally Spence, Charlie Connor, Christopher Smith, David Mead, Alex Robertson, Gary Symington and John Noakes.

Mr Noakes who was driving his bus, during mid shift, found out of his massive win and told all his passengers "LAST STOP" ordering them off the bus and telling them he wasn't going any farther!
All the other drivers where ringing their garage, and informing them, that they wouldn't be coming into work.

Mr Mead, the syndicate organiser, threw a party to celebrate their win.
I wasn't invited :(

So a massive congratulations to all those drivers who, no longer need to get up at 3 in the morning for the first bus, or get home at 3am because of the last bus!  Well done to all of you!

The jackpot of £38,034,640 will be shared by 12 lucky "ex" bus drivers! = £3,169,553 and 33 pence each! Stagecoach commented that they have yet, not received any resignations.....don't WILL very soon!
The lucky numbers were: 03, 04, 12, 23, 50 including the lucky stars of 04 and 07
I was going to use them numbers :(

A statement made by Mr Connor said "I'm glad I won this as part of a syndicate" and that he had been working "horrendous" 14 hour days forStagecoach to make ends meet!
He plans to "splash out" on a new car, although it will be an ordinary "run-a-round" join a golf course, and will be going back to school to learn a new language.

Charlie Gillion was already planning on retiring later this year, while colleague David Mead told relatives he had already quit his job atStagecoach.

Mr Noakes says he will be buying his wife Jean, whatever she wants and will be swapping his Nissan Primera for an Aston Martin (this guy has class)!

The drivers stated that they had been playing the syndicate for almost 3 years and considered giving it up, because they were having no luck.  Thankfully they came good with the win, 6 months after contemplating leaving the "lucky dozen!"

One driver actually pulled out of the syndicate just before the mega win, but was replaced by another.  That driver must be cursing the heavens right now!

Well done can cancel your union subscriptions now!

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Monday, 19 March 2012

McAngry Burger with Cheese Please!

I think we all get sick of hearing the latest "bad news" about foods that cause health problems.
The Big Mac mmm might soon be called the Angry Mac!
If most of us took ALL the advice we are given about drinking and eating, we probably wouldn't eat or drink a thing!

Well it seem's the latest to come out of scientist's mouths, is about junk food making people angry!
I nearly said hungry then!  Maybe that's what they where talking about instead!  Junk food actually makes people hungry!

Moving on.....a study of 945 men and women showed that there was a "definite" link between people who ate a lot of fatty foods and aggression.
This study was conducted in the U.S!

Angered by the lack of salad on her McChikkety
A report compiled by Dr Beatrice Golomb, from the University of California says that they found people who ate greater amounts of dietary trans-fatty acids (dTFAs) were more likely to become more aggressive and irritable.
Prisons and schools have now been advised to look at their menus and ensure diets do not play a part in aggressive behaviour.

The tranny fats, which are also found in things like margarine and lards or shortenings, including vegetable oils, are also linked with high cholesterol, cardiac problems, Alzheimer's disease, cancer, diabetes, obesity, liver dysfunction, infertility in women and depression.

Burger King insist you have it your way!
Scientists have recommended that eating prepared and processed foods with high levels of these fats are kept to an absolute minimum.

Now I have been doing a little research myself, and it would seem that one of the main reasons why there are so many of these "bad" fats around, especially in fast food, is because of cost.
Many fast food chains will use these type of oils to fry their food in, because they last longer, and don't go "off" for a long time, giving longer shelf life and increasing their profit margins.
Therefore, it should be up to our governments to insist that ALL fast food restaurants, use oils that are "better" for us.  Then we can eat all we like, lovely!!!!
At least until they think of something else that will kill us.

I'm really hungry now!
I wonder whether driving whilst eating a burger could give you road rage!!!  Maybe they should conduct a study on that.

Can you believe Burger King actually created an Angry Whopper!!!
Credits to "mitchelcollins" for the upload

The McDonalds Drive Thru song, created by todrickhall.  This guy is clearly nah nah nah nah nahhhhhhhh Loving It!
Credits to todrickhall

University of California
McDonalds shame they still don't do home delivery!
Burger King click on this and have it YOUR way!